We aren't meant to be alone. Even though we go through periods of being alone, it isn't suppose to be the status quo. Genesis 2:18 is God's verdict on this condition and it happens fairly early on in history. But this theme is reiterated throughout Scriptures.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
(Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV)
We need the building up, the encouragement that the church provides. But more than that, we need the safety net it provides as well:
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV)
It is unfortunate that in a religion that appears to put such an emphasis on togetherness, people experience such loneliness. It isn't just a melancholic loneliness I am speaking of here either. There is also the "lone ranger" syndrome that is so prevalent, especially in protestantism. The type of loneliness that expresses itself in the attitude of control, singleness, do-it-yourself behavior.
But why is this? Is it just our fallen nature? Or did we create this for ourselves when the church decided it was more important to be like the culture around us then it was to be our own and to set the pace for our culture? Was it when we started having an allergic reaction to the the idea of a christian subculture or when the accusations of developing "christian ghettos" began to be bantered about?
Probably there are no satisfactory answers to these questions, but be that as it may, maybe just voicing the questions can be a first step in answering the more important questions of how to get out of this hole we've dug ourselves into.
The Eastern Orthodox tradition allows for interaction with saints that have gone on before us. They take quite literally Hebrews 12:1 picture of a cloud of witnesses coupled with Jesus' words to the Sadducees, "He is not the God of the dead, but of the living", which is even more striking when we realize Jesus was speaking about people who had died long ago. So, according to Eastern Orthodoxy, why not commune with them? Why not pray to them? Even more, why couldn't they interact with us? I must admit (here my protestant friends will gasp) there is a certain amount of logic to the argument.
Of course, there are a whole lot of questions that come to the fore if one chooses to go down that road. Perhaps the biggest being that of safety. How do we know that the one speaking to us is really the person they say they are? Saul spoke to Nathan who was conjured up by a witch. Was it really Nathan? But here my EO friends would point out that the believer is part of a greater Tradition (notice the capital 'T') and that the Church (again, notice the capitalization, it is important) is there to help the believer and especially protect him or her from any sort of deception from the enemy. On paper this sounds good, but beyond mere romanticism I have have questions of its practicality.
Some anabaptist and protestant groups have sought to fulfill the call of Scripture to community by...well...living in communities or, if you will, "christian ghettos". This isn't new by any stretch of the imagination. You see this happening right at the beginning of the formation of the church in Acts 4:32-37. Now it is clear that this did not continue throughout the early church but, at least in the beginning they appear to have found gravitation towards a type of communalism a natural response to the deep spiritual change that had taken place in their hearts. And in times of renewal and great need the church has repeated this process throughout history. The a fore mentioned Anabaptists (especially the Swiss Brethren and the Hutterites), the Brethren of the Common life (who had an influence on Thomas Kempis, who wrote "The Imitation of Christ") and in more modern times The Jesus Army in England, the Jesus People USA in Chicago and Gloriavale in New Zealand just to name a few.
Shane Claiborne's group (Sorry, Shane, I know you wouldn't like me calling it that. It is for reference sake only) The Simple Way could be looked at as a more recent attempt at scriptural Community (capital!) although better suited to single people or those with very, very small families. Also, their focus seems to be more towards that of a social gospel. Although this would endear them to postmodern non-believers and Christians alike, I have serious doubts as to whether this was really what Jesus intended when he commissioned the Church (again, I hear gasps - but my defense of that statement will need to wait for another post).
I still haven't offered any solutions! But that is ok. I didn't intend to (did I say I would?). I am only giving vent to my frustration and even melancholy over my current situation: feeling alone in the crowd.